1. Coronavirus numbers are all over the board and nearly indecipherable out of China.
2. European shares hit fresh new records.
3. Tesla prices $2 billion share sale at $767 (also known as ‘big dick energy’).
4. Barclays CEO, Jes Staley, is fucked, errr, is being investigated over links with Jeffrey Epstein.
5. Stifel dismissed John Pierce, it’s National Director of Recruiting, on Monday.
6. Merrill Lynch hired a huge private banking team from HSBC.
“My boss has been an MD for three years now and he still steals Clorox wipes and copy paper from the office.” – Wall Street Confessions.